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Friday, August 10, 2012

despair, is the word.

.السلام عليكم.

i am in so much pain that i don't know how to endure all of it.
how can i? for this little heart to handle them all.
terlalu banyak emosi nak tunjuk tapi i'm not the one with those emotions.

yes, now i think its true that sometimes you tend to escape from it.
leaving it as a bad memory.
as if it will soon go away.

but NO! i'm facing the reality.
not a nightmare that i have from sleeping.
memang ade rase tertekan, but if not now, bile lagi?

keputusan permohonan tu memang nak bagi aku a heart attack.
its not that aku nak kate aku dapat kat tempat yang aku nak ke x.
its about mine was never in the system.

ohmagod! ohmagod!
the question mark was sooo big that i felt depressed thinking about it.

now, i really felt the world was too big for me.
i tried to call the helpline.
not once but lotsa lotsa of times.
but to my despair, no one answered.

i'm not sure where's the part that i got screwed up.
mana2 tempat pun boleh jadi.
one simple, minor mistake, then jadiknya macam ni.

but, as i thought.
maybe bukan aku je yang dapat macam ni. ramai lagi.
mane tahu.
dalam berjuta2 orang, it's impossible that only i'm the one who got nothing.

hmmmmmm, now i think i need to calm down.
to settle things more clearly.
bukan main hentam barang gitu like a maniac. NOOO!

if aku xsolvekan masalah ni secepat mungkin, how am i to pursue my education in the bachelors degree level?
i'll be left alone while the others are happily studying to reach their dreams.


i just need patience and some hope. 

plus, your encouragement. *really! i'll be needing it.
making my life easier for the near future.

and this is all i want to blabber about, where nothing goes right. 

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